Back Again?

Will I find (or, more accurately, make) more time to blog? Maybe. Who knows? I'm still playing catch-up when I get home in the evenings, with a backlog of tasks and projects from those days of working three jobs. Plus there's the enjoyable but endless flow of things that need doing around the house.

And then there's baseball season (over now), kayaking (never over), travel (also never over), and collapsing from exhaustion (less frequent). What can I say? It's a full life.

However . . . .

Thanks to the train, I am getting a lot of reading done. Now I have lots of reviews to write, but that's not too bad.

Meanwhile, books continue to arrive. One of the bonuses of my membership in Paperbackswap.com is that I'm able to add book to the wishlist on a whim. Months or even years later, they arrive in the mail and I don't remember them. It really brightens my day when a sweet surprise arrives in the mail, unlooked for.

(I wonder if there's any market for a personalized book subscription service? Oh, wait, that's already been done. A lot.)   

Here's what arrived in the mail last week:

I don't remember where I heard about this book, but I know I'm going to love it because: 

1. It's about "reading, writing, and the world of books," and 

2. It uses the Oxford comma.

I'll probably love this one, too. It just sounds like my cup of tea, one that will make a fine antidote for my regular journeys into the concrete canyons downtown. And my copy is autographed!

Spammy Comments, Yuck!

I've been getting some spammy comments lately. If they're not advertising, they're enthusiastic but vague comments tossed in a word salad. It's quite annoying.

Temporarily, I've put moderation in place -- but I don't expect that to be a great solution because it creates extra e-mail for me.

How do other bloggers avoid spam? I'd love some suggestions!

(By the way, I resisted including a picture of Spam in this post. You can thank me later.)

Re-Returning

(But from where? The ether, I suppose.)

Vacation was wonderful! But it knocked me out of any habits I might have acquired (good or bad) and put me behind on everything. I guess that's the story of my life and I wonder if it will ever change. Probably not, unless I develop some better habits!

I've said yes to teaching again this semester and the Tuesday/Thursday schedule keeps me hopping. Added to my regular 30-ours-a-week job, it's been a struggle to balance everything. The manager of the book store took a two-month vacation herself, and I shared coverage duties with another volunteer -- to add to the schedule. So . . . It's been a busy late-summer.

Now, what's the upside?

Home improvements peaked this spring and then lagged, but in a burst of my usual fall energy I unpacked the last of the boxes in the living room and hung pictures throughout the house. The living room and master bedroom are settled now. The bath is mostly settled while I await the arrival of a shockingly expensive but irresistible new shower curtain that will change the look completely. The kitchen and guest room still need some work, as do the porch, the shed, and the yard. But it's all good and I'm enjoying the process.

(Well, I should say I'm mostly enjoying the process. I had a falling out with the lawn guy who mows all the yards in this part of town. Before I went on vacation I planted some large, native firebush shrubs that a friend had given me. I thought something so mature and so obvious (and surrounded by freshly turned dirt) would be unmistakably intentional, but the lawn guy thought . . . well, who knows what he thought? He tore them out and I returned from vacation to find them missing. I was heartbroken and angry -- not only for the loss of the plants (they were about 3 feet tall and blooming like crazy) but for their sentimental value. Considering my mental state, I left a very reasonable message on his answering machine. I definitely said, "I'm very upset about this" but I didn't shout or anything. In response, he left me a note saying he didn't want to mow my lawn anymore. Well, okay then. I'm now in search of a lawn guy with a clue about native plants and customer service.)

The cats are much happier in the new place. They have multiple views from multiple windows, and I've contrived to arrange the furniture so they have lounging places where they can watch the street and the birds. That's a big plus.

I'm getting more exercise than in the past year or so. That's definitely a plus.

I've cut WAY back on my Facebook time and I like it. It's certainly helped me find a few more hours that can be used in better ways. Thanks to a recent cool snap, "better ways" includes reading on the porch with a cup of coffee.

Hurricane Michael zoomed by to the west and gave us just a breezy day with a few rain showers. We were very lucky. Seeing the destruction in the Florida panhandle confirms my decision to avoid living on the coast and to evacuate if a big one comes this way. Even so, everyone here is still keeping a wary eye on the weather right now. 

Kayak Guy and I are still spending quite a bit of time together and having fun adventuring. Maybe it's just the daily life that taxes us? What an interesting thought.

I'm turning the corner on some of my reading challenges and think I might actually finish a few this year. That would be huge!

Here's to keeping this fall energy thing going as long as I can. Maybe it will help me write all those reviews that I'm backed up on . . . .

Returning

Yoo hoo, remember me? It's been ages since I wrote anything and this promises to be one whirlwind of a catch-up, just to get things started again.

I have NOT abandoned the reading challenges and will update everything back to current status as soon as I am able to. Please don't give up on me despite my admin laxity!

Okay, so what have I been up to? Well . . . .

First and foremost I have to blurt out that Kayak Guy and I got a divorce. That relationship began with some of the most incredible experiences of my life, for which I will always be grateful. We had so many fun adventures together! But I'm sorry to say that the nitty-gritty reality of blending two full and independent lives ultimately was too much for us. We're striving to stay friends, but I'm not sure yet whether we'll succeed. It's especially difficult to make the transition because we have many interests and many dear friends in common. That process goes on.

On a happier note, I bought a house! It deserves a post of its own (and perhaps many more as the fixing-up goes on) but for now I will say that navigating the paperwork was like having another full-time job. Whew! I hope I never ever have to go through that again! It was worth every scan and fax and records search, because now I'm happily more-or-less settled into my own little 1963 charmer, surrounded by nearly a quarter of an acre of sunny Florida yard. My head spins daily with plans for indoors and out. Such an exciting time! The cats are much happier here, too, with plenty of room to spread out on every available windowsill.

I'm still working and teaching, with a new adjunct gig starting next month. I've been seeing my share of baseball games. I have some travel plans in the offing. I'm putting my health back together with more exercise and more time outdoors.  Mother Nature continues to renew me whenever I need her the most. I'm feeling that I've weathered this stormy period and can see calmer waters ahead now.

And life is what it always is, delightful and challenging and changeable, all wrapped into one.

Prove It

Photo: captcha.net

Sometimes when I comment on a blog, the host is using CAPTCHA and I have to do that extra step.  It's not a problem. I totally understand that it's a bot protection device and I'm all for that. 

I finally got curious about CAPTCHA and did a little research. Did you know that CAPTCHA stands for Completely Automated Public Turing Test To Tell Computers and Humans Apart? Kudos to Luis von Ahn, Manuel Blum, Nicholas Hopper and John Langford of Carnegie Mellon University, who did some great work and coined that catchy name in 2000. Who knew? 

(By the way, the CAPTCHA site is super readable -- especially for a computer site! -- and has a lot of interesting background information on what it does and why it's needed.)  

Most of the time CAPTCHA is just a little wordy game that I kind of enjoy. I especially like the one with the photos that asks me to "Click every square with a traffic sign" -- although it would be more fun if it wanted me to, say, click every square with a flower. 

But there's one that asks me to "Please prove you're not a robot." Often this takes me into the realm of wild thoughts: 

What if I'm a robot and I don't know it? 

Books have been written on just this subject. It might make a good reading challenge. 

Once robots can read a word with a squiggly line through it, how will I prove myself? 

And doesn't the question itself seem a little aggressive?

Not Blogging

I'm a little behind on the blogging, but I have a good excuse! See you next week!

A Welcome Seasonal Surprise

There's no end to the number of wagons I've fallen off of lately -- the blogging wagon first among them.

However, during my silence I secured a fabulous new part-time job, helped create a joyful holiday experience for family and friends, finished a very difficult Yuletide jigsaw puzzle, completed a couple of household projects, visited with several old and dear friends, bought a new hard drive for the computer and a new battery for the car (both against my will!), acquired a massive amount of new reading material, and enjoyed various outdoor adventures.

So! I'm not a failure . . . even if I don't always achieve all the goals I set for myself.

We celebrated Christmas Day with a morning fire, gifts and breakfast, then a misty-day hike: 4 miles through the Florida woods with only 4 others met along the trail. It was the perfect antidote to the busy-ness of the holidays. And Mother Nature blessed us with some seasonal color along the way.

Now here I am, back on the blogging wagon.

This post began with the idea of facing the fact that I wasn't going to finish either of my reading challenges. But as it turns out, I still have time to complete one of them on time! In some ways, that's a lovely gift of prioritization -- even if I'm not crazy about the book that now requires my renewed attention.

As for assorted other wagons and challenges, well, there's always next year.

Happiest of holidays, everyone! 

A Timely Gift

I am delighted to be using this perfectly sparkly tote bag for my holiday forays into the world of Christmas commerce. As a festive person who heartily dislikes shopping in most forms, this time of year can be a challenge: I need something special to ease me through the cognitive dissonance.

This tote is just the ticket, thanks to the charming Martine at Silencing the Bell. She hosted a give-away in celebration of her 1000th post (wow!) and I was one of the lucky random few to receive a gift. Thank you, Martine!

It's sober brown with golden spirals and pink satin lining, made with Martine's own hands. Naturally someone with that sort of taste is a very discerning reader as well. Give her blog a visit, when you have the chance. You're likely to find something just right there, as I did.  

Happiness Is . . . .

Discovering it's Opening Day of the local collegiate wood bat baseball league. The kids will play hard all summer only 5 minutes from the house. Although the first game snuck up on me -- meaning I missed the fun of counting down the days -- it's still an exciting moment to realize the first game is tonight and I didn't miss the first shot at summer baseball. Proof that I haven't totally lost my edge: I already have our season passes in hand, at a reasonable buy one, get one price.

Seeing two wrens busily building a nest in an empty box in the carport. They will join the cardinal family (3 babies!) and the red-bellied woodpecker family (1 baby) around the backyard feeders. The bird antics around here are enough to make me wish I had one of those cameras with a long lens.

Being employed for the rest of the summer (at least), after a bit of on again, off again, stop-and-go zigzagging between contract work, teaching, and having nothing lined up at all. Spare time during the summer is great. So is income.

Looking ahead to doing some reading challenges. I had a few very slow reading years while I was busy moving, dealing with a promotion at work, and planning a wedding, but I'm back now and looking forward to setting some reading goals. If you have any recommendations for challenges, I'd love to hear them.

Blogging again. It's a nice snapshot of life as it zooms by, and you've made me feel welcome with your comments. It's so good to be back!

Hello Again?

Long time, no see! Remember me? I never thought I'd be doing this, but here I am. Again.

Allow me to begin with some confessions:

I've been missing this space lately.

I've definitely been craving the longer, free-form writing space that a blog allows. Facebook isn't so much fun anymore - there's so much content, and a lot of it is fairly superficial, and the whole point seems to be these little sound bites of info, not the free expression of actual ideas. Plus it's full of politics these days and although I feel strongly about the future of America and my own personal favorite candidate, in general my feeling about discussion of politics on Facebook is: yuck! I thought about expanding my Facebook presence by seeking out more book-related sites, but I don't really want more Facebook, you know?    

I never stopped keeping the Now Reading section updated. Ditto for the ever-expanding To Be Read list, including the current winners of the various prizes I follow, and the rather-more-slowly-expanding Done Read list. With some recent life changes, I have time to focus on the books again, at last.

And that post about the Orion Book Award, the one dated December 1, 2013? I just posted it last week, with a fake date.

Hmmm. Maybe it was just a vacation.

Goodbye to the Cafe

With a resigned heart and a mild sense of failure I am writing to acknowledge the obvious: the Hotchpot Cafe has run out of steam. It's been ages since I posted here with any regularity, and the happy energy that used to surround the blog has dissipated.

Despite my intention to return to blogging (as variously stated over the past months), I realize now it simply isn't going to happen. This year I'm determined to resolve those parts of my life that are stuck in limbo, freeing my time and energy for what's to come.

Supporting this new period of growth is that fact that I have fallen in love with a wonderful man who shares my worldview and my passions. We plan to make a life together, one that will be filled with travel and outdoors pursuits. I have no qualms about simplifying my commitments to make more room for the happiness, excitement, and comfort of a coupled life.

Even so, I'm a little sad to renounce this electronic diary. It certainly reflects my varied experiences over the past 5 years, and I'm very proud to have written some of the posts.

Most importantly, it has been great fun to get to know the blogging community. I hope to still visit, even though I'm not posting anymore.

To my fellow bloggers, I say: I'm in awe of your creativity and insights and passions, and the interesting lives you lead. May you fare well in 2014 and always!

A Reintegrated Life

A while back I started a separate blog that was intended as a place for my nature adventures, which were calling up a creative side of me that didn't seem to quite fit with the tone and variety of the posts here at the Cafe.

That blog never really took off. I posted photos and some minor thoughts, but it never gathered much energy, and I didn't work on it very often, as time went on.

Meanwhile, the Cafe also languished (and has continued to do so). I've struggled with whether to continue it.

Recently I've spent some time thinking about how our lives go through phases. Maybe it has to do with where we're living, the work we are doing, what hobbies we become interested in, or who we're in a relationship with. Maybe this doesn't happen to other people -- although I suspect it does. How many times have I been catching up with a friend and asked, "So how's __________ these days?" -- only to hear that they don't really go there/do that/see them anymore.

I guess it's the waxing and waning of the natural cycle, manifest in our own daily lives, pastimes, and loves.

Along those lines, I've come to think that the lack of content here at the Cafe is due to my feeling that there were certain things I "couldn't" say. Having two blogs made me feel fragmented and self-censored, and kept me slightly off balance.

Instead of being an easy and joyful snapshot of whatever I was thinking about, having two blogs required all sorts of intellectual decisions -- that had a chilling effect on the ease of the creative process. At least that's what I'm thinking now. We'll see if returning to the idea of one blog with varied content restores my consistency here.

I'm also hoping that this is a sign that nature adventures aren't something separate from my so-called Real Life, but something that's fully a part of it now. My adventures outdoors are still special, still magical, but much more part of who I am.

They don't need a place of their own. This place, where I also talk about books, cats, domestic details, and the funny, amusing, frustrating, surprising events of the day, is their place, too.

Not Reviewing

I'm struggling a bit with the blogging thing. Some of it is lack of inspiration. I think I've just fallen out of the habit, perhaps? 

Some of it is that I'm trying to work on some larger projects and be more efficient with my time, which means less time for unrelated stuff that doesn't contribute directly to the larger effort.

Some of it is that I'm trying to do more stuff that's "real" and less stuff that's virtual. So I'd rather be reading or doing than typing on the machine.

On the other hand, I have to admit: some of it is the heinous modern invention that shall henceforth be referred to as "that damn Facebook."

So I am still reading, but I'm not going to be reviewing. If you see something on the Done Read list that doesn't appear on the Reviews page, just ask me if I liked it and I'll give you a quick, personalized review. Because that still sounds like fun!

Google Reader, Harry Potter, and Credit Where Credit is Due

Also known, I suppose, as a post where I just ramble on about whatever I'm thinking.

I have seen that Google Reader is going away this summer and various bloggers have written about other options for their reading lists. Now that it has come to my attention, I guess I have to figure that out, too.

I will miss Google Reader, but not all that much. It has never cooperated with me to delete any blogs I no longer wanted to read.  Some blogs just didn't turn out to be as interesting as I first found them, or they moved to other locations, or the bloggers reinvented themselves by closing one blog and beginning another, or they simply stopped blogging - but I could never remove the old or inactive blogs. It was frustrating, but I learned to live with it.

Now I have a chance for a clean slate and zero interest in another feed reader. I have begun the transition by writing down the URLs of the blogs I want to continue to follow. Next I will figure out what to do with them. But at least I know they won't be lost forever.

Of course, the listing process means I have reviewed all the blogs I've ever followed and wow, the blogging world is a fantastic one!  

A few shout-outs seem to be in order, because they have come to my particular attention just now:

Jenny over at Jenny's Books, who is absolutely passionate about literature in a way that inspires me and who has convinced me that I should read Harry Potter. I have heard it from others, but she has tipped me over the edge, at last. In the cosmic classroom, I want to sit next to her. And she has The. Most. Awesome. Post. Labels. Ever.

Oreneta of Oreneta Aground, who lives the most amazing life of painting, language, travel, food, reading, and teaching, and does it all with freshness, humor, and aplomb. She is also a Harry Potter fan. (Is there a pattern here? Yes.) I continue to hold out hope that she and I will visit in person one of these days, when the stars align.

Nan at Letters from a Hill Farm, who inspired my choice of camera and my photographs in general. She takes the most amazing pictures to document her beautiful northern life, and I owe my budding local reputation for photography (thank you, Facebook) directly to her. Without her example and her camera recommendation, that would never have happened.

Not Meeting the Challenge

My challenge reading was a colossal failure last year. Heck, I didn't even read for my own challenge! Forthwith, my mea culpa.

I read 2 of 3 books chosen for the American Battle of the Prizes: Edward Jones' The Known World and E.L. Doctorow's World's Fair. Both were well worth the reading. These books exemplify what's great about challenge reading: because I normally concentrate on literary classics, I probably never would have gotten around to them (good as they are, they are too "new") without the push of participating in that National Book Award winners vs. Pulitzer Prize winners challenge.  

I also joined the British Battle of the Prizes, a pitched battle between Man Booker Prize winners and James Tait Black Memorial Prize winners.  But for this one, alas, I didn't read a single book. I still want to read the books I chose, and I'm still on the quest to read all the Booker winners, but because of my failure to perform, the challenge framework just made me feel guilty. That's the clear downside of the challenge game. 

Rose City Reader, who hosted both of these challenges, decided to retire them after the 2012 season. Perhaps they had run their course. Perhaps she decided to concentrate on her very successful European Reading Challenge. Whatever the reason, they were fun while they lasted!

As for my own, the Birth Year Reading Challenge - Honors, I started one book, bought the second, and pretty much abandoned even the idea of the third, having lost all interest in it almost as soon as I chose it. Sigh.   

That's truly pitiful, and it has me thinking about challenge reading and blogging in general. I did hardly any reading in 2012, but I accomplished a lot of other things (made huge strides at work, tried very diligently over a whole summer to buy a house, moved to a rented house that I love in a wonderful small town, deepened a very special relationship, formed many new friendships, traveled to some beautiful and fascinating  places, and co-hosted a very festive holiday open house).  All that took time away from reading and blogging.

I also discovered Facebook. For me, it was a mixed blessing. I was determined to be the Last Person on Earth to Join, the sole holdout from the social media world. But when the new man in my life told me he shared all his pictures that way and I wanted to see them, I gave in . . . and from there it was a slippery slope. I am very much in favor of the amazing, unexpected, fruitful connections that can arise. But even used wisely, Facebook is a huge time soak. Again, less time for reading and blogging.

I took an unscheduled vacation from blogging, and now that I'm feeling the urge to return, I notice some of my best bloggy friends are also on vacation, or have shut down their blogs, or have segued into new blogs, or are simply posting less frequently. I guess that's all good. Circumstances change, and we change, and not everything that's wonderful has to be permanent.

I have decided to keep blogging, not from any sense of obligation but because I enjoy it, because I feel I am returning to it fresh,and because I have made friends here, real friends, even if not all of us know each other's real names. 

I don't expect to do any challenge reading this year, except maybe my own challenge. I thought long and hard about hosting another year of the Birth Year Reading Challenge, but I'm in, after all (announcement coming soon). I will keep on with reading the Booker winners. I will be moderate about Facebook. I will enjoy the longer posts that blogging allows. And I will cherish and maintain the friendships I've started in the blogosphere. That's what it comes down to, at last: keeping in touch.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Hello and happy new year!

After a long absence, I am determined to reopen the Cafe again in 2013. Frankly, I've missed the writing and the visiting and you, my bloggy friends. Part of my focus for this year (I hesitate to say "resolutions") is to spend less time on the things that matter less, and more time on the things that matter more. And so, here I am again.

Since I last wrote in any detail, I said goodbye to a sweet companion of 17 years. The Princess was devoted to me from day one, when she stole my heart as a tiny, wild kitten with a broken leg. One of my favorite memories of her is that on cold nights she used to sleep on my head.  It was like wearing a warm, fuzzy, vibrating hat, and thoroughly cozy for both of us. Our last years were particularly good ones; she enjoyed becoming an only cat and having all my attention.  I miss her every day.

I also moved into a new neighborhood, much nearer to the man in my life and in the midst of an artsy and historic small town that is doing its best to keep its main street character intact. I'm renting a house I would love to buy and enjoying its 1930's character and quirkiness.

I used the opportunity of moving to organize my bookshelves by color. The finished shelves, decked out for Christmas, turned out nicely! (This is most but not all of the books. Very deficient in purple, for some reason.) But it was terribly difficult to find things as quickly as I wanted.  I am about halfway through organizing them back into subject areas.  

The house that led me on such a wild chase this summer has been purchased and is being renovated. I imagine it will become a rental and I am still keeping an eye on it. I'm no longer interested, but I still like seeing how it is doing, now and again.     

I have been to some lovely places, made some wonderful new friends, heard some great music, and seen some fantastic art.

One of my law professors used to talk about how juries award damages to injured people by assigning a monetary amount to each year affected.  It's a flawed method, and he used to highlight the flaws by asking, "Aren't some years better than others?"

I can confidently say that yes, some years are indeed better than others, and overall, 2012 was one of the very best. Perhaps 2013 will be one of the best, as well. 

Vacationing

I didn't intend to take a vacation from blogging, but that's what I'm doing.

An event at work, volunteering, the writing coach thing, an out-of-town guest, and arranging to move house have combined to soak up every available minute of my time -- and then some.

Moving day is this Friday. My new house is adorable and the owners have hinted that they would consider selling it to me, if I like it after I've lived there for a while.

The box count stands at 25, with plenty more to go.  That's mostly books. I haven't even started on the kitchen.

I already know my new neighbors on either side -- both of them artsy folks who are doing interesting things with film, writing, and photography. 

I'll be much closer to the man in my life, which will cut down on driving time considerably.  There was quite a bit of angst (on my part, not his) associated with living in such close proximity, but it has all evaporated now that the moment is almost here.

The community garden is just a walk across the street and through the playing field portion of the neighborhood park, where the cricket league plays every Sunday. (I don't know anything about cricket, but I'll have a front row seat.) Garden Plot #41 will be mine shortly and I need to get it together for the fall planting.

Meanwhile, the local, wild swamp sunflowers are blooming and I managed to make time to go see them.  Yes, that's a hint of a rainbow, off to the right.

It's an extremely busy time, but it's "good busy."  I'll be back in a few days!

 

The Cone of Uncertainty and Other Updates

Hello, blogosphere! Long time, no post.

Not sure why I've taken a blogging vacation recently, except to say that I'm still seeking the perfect balance between digital life and analog life. Also trying to dig my way out from under a stack of paperwork, screens and screens of pending e-mails, and a personal To Do List a mile long. In fact, I've renamed the To Do List the Hydra List, because it seems that for every task I manage to accomplish, another two or three (heads) spring up in its place.

So, what else is new?

Tropical storm Debby, who was supposed to turn left and go to Louisiana, has decided to turn right (eventually) and head this way. Today was the second day of blustery rain, which didn't bother me a bit. We need it desperately!

I got my good weather in over the weekend, with a kayaking trip and a day at a rally in support of Florida's springs and their right to have a healthy flow (instead of having all their water stolen for lawns and other wasteful uses). Here's just one example of the beautiful Silver River's clear, deep water.

Meanwhile, I am enjoying another sojourn in the tropical Cone of Uncertainty. A while back I blogged about what a fun term that is: you know, it's a magic spell where the victim is rendered ineffective by indecision. But I'll be darned if I can find that post now. So, anyway, the Cone of Uncertainty is surely an apt metaphor for some occasions in my life and I'm just going to have to live it forward from here.

Speaking of life: tomorrow's my birthday! I'll be staring at the big 5-3 and celebrating another successful trip around the sun.

Not that the sun will be visible, given the weather we're having, but what the heck? I know it's out there!

Well, That Was Quick

After all my confident talk about doing without the internet at home, I discovered quickly it was totally undoable. Folks who are successfully offline at home must have less on their plates than I have, or more free time during the day, or better time management skills than mine . . . so it didn't last long.

Now I am one re-connect fee poorer and a whole lot wiser. Lesson learned.

The good news is that quitting cold turkey broke the habit. I'm much better at controlling my mindless surfing tendencies since the break-up. So although it's a little embarrassing that my big declaration went practically nowhere, it was still an experiment worth doing.

I'm still working on the reinvention thing, though. That's still definitely part of the overall plan.

Offline, for a Change

Remember a while ago when I said I was going to do something radical one of these days? I think I have begun it, though perhaps not quite in the way anyone could have expected. I suspect this is the first phrase of a much longer journey.

I no longer have the internet at home. That's it for me: cold turkey. And no, I don't have an iPhone.

Lest you think I am not qualified for such a bold move: I haven't had a working television since 2000, except for one short stint in 2004 to watch the Olympics.

Lately I've been realizing that I spend way, way, way too much time on the internet, and most of that is wasted time. I'm not quite ready to say I'm addicted, but it worries me that I lack the willpower to create moderation.

I have tried setting a timer. I have tried limiting myself to just doing 3 things. I have attempted "unplugged weekends." All without success.

I should say I have no problem being away from the computer when I'm away from home. It's just that when I am at home, I have trouble resisting the urge to go online. Once I'm on, hours slip by while I do little more than the equivalent of channel surfing.

When it comes to the internet, I am definitely someone who can't eat just one cookie, or buy just one pair of shoes, or have just one drink. Although I have no trouble doing any of those things!

I had a revelation the other night, while talking with a friend. I mentioned something that I'd done, and he said, "You didn't tell me about that" and I said, "Well, I blogged about it." And then I thought, that is just so wrong.

Meanwhile, I want to write, create, read, exercise, and garden more, and spend more time with the people, places, and causes I care about. I want to have more of a real life. Yet I am challenged to find or make the time to do that.

I intend to keep blogging here and at my new nature blog. I know I will have to be more organized, making plans ahead of time for the things I need to do. I won't be able to Google up directions at the last minute. I will have to carry the laptop around more often. It is probably going to be a major inconvenience while I adjust to my new, disconnected reality.

I am sure this will be a major adjustment, because so much of life these days takes place online. I hope, though, that once the drama of withdrawal is over, I will be more deliberate and intentional about my internet use, and that with the extra free time, my real life will flourish.

I think giving up the internet is going to make me happier and healthier in the long run. And it will probably provide some good blog fodder, too.