A (Sports) Marker

My firm enthusiastically supports March Madness, which is pretty fun. I don't follow college basketball, but I'm content to get swept up in the trend for a few weeks every year. I use the techniques that C.S. taught me and submit multiple brackets -- hedging my bets, you might say. 

A few years back, the bracket I assigned to L.P. was the winner. I'm not sure everyone appreciated being bested by a cat! Someone's cat had won in an earlier year, though, so at least there was a precedent. This was the champion's photo that year. (He picked Baylor, by the way, and they won it all.)

So I just want to say that as of right now, the Gang of Three will win IF Houston goes all the way. They play the University of Florida tonight and there are many, many UF Gators among my colleagues, including my direct boss and our managing partner. Rooting against the Gators is not a popular option. But what can I say? These hooligans want to WIN.

Update to add: Houston did not win, which made everyone else very happy, and that makes the loss less painful. It was an exciting game and the UF Gators showed a lot of resilience. 

Good Grief, What a Week

It has taken me the weekend to process all that happened. Maybe this is that crashing wave I dreamed about.

I was ecstatic on Tuesday because I received the Johnson & Johnson Covid-19 vaccine, authorized by my doctor's certificate of medical vulnerability. The FEMA site was superbly efficient, everyone was polite and helpful, and a sense of euphoria was in the air among those of us in line. About 8 hours later, the vaccine knocked me right down with body aches and chills, but I recovered after a few hours. 

I felt good on Wednesday because the painters came to my under-repair house and worked their magic. My walls are now a fresh cream color (same color as before) and my kitchen is a lovely yellow. My first attempt at yellow 2 years ago turned out to be too harsh and too dark. This yellow is much more successful. It's paler, more gold than mustard, but still packs plenty of oomph. And I do love a yellow kitchen. 

I was hopeful and then heartbroken on Thursday when I received a call from Animal Control. The officer said they had found Missy -- but she was badly injured and in very poor condition. I drove there immediately. He recommended euthanizing her; in fact, he practically insisted on it. Right or wrong, I didn't want her last moments to occur in that kennel setting, all loud noises and hard surfaces. Somehow I convinced him to let me take her for a second opinion, and I drove her to the nearest emergency vet, who confirmed that her injuries were too serious. It would have been torture to even try to repair them. 

They brought her to me wrapped in a blanket, and she was purring. We had some private minutes while I reminisced about all our years together. I don't know if she knew it was me, but she knew someone was there, and it was peaceful, and she was safe and loved at the last.

Missy in better times

Random Thoughts

So far, so good at the office. I'm a weird combination of vigilant and forgetful. Following the arrows and washing my hands and wearing a mask are all going well, and my coworkers are largely compliant. But I also think we definitely have "pandemic fatigue," myself included. Last week I had two different people sit down in my office for informal meetings -- and I only realized afterwards that even though they were sitting 6 feet away and masked, we exceeded the recommended 15 minutes of talking and laughing, both times. I'm tired of being suspicious of everything, including the air! Ugh.

Covid cases are skyrocketing again here, but Florida will never lock down again. There are still plenty of people who prefer to travel and socialize and drink in the bars as though the virus doesn't exist. The rest of us are just going to get through it, trusting our precautions and the luck of the draw: smart or lucky or a little of both.

Meanwhile, I didn't mean to buy a new water heater, but I did -- after the old one leaked all over the laundry room floor.

I also didn't mean to get another crown, but I did -- after my cereal became unexpectedly crunchy from a broken tooth. Dentistry has come a long way since the last crown I had! Instead of doing the mould thing, having a temporary put on, and then returning to have the permanent crown installed, and maybe it fits and maybe it doesn't, the dentist scanned my tooth with a computer wand, which created a 3D picture on the screen. Then a little block of porcelain is carved by a machine into a replica of the scanned image. That's the crown! I went from tooth to crown in under 120 minutes and $1500, but no pain and no complaints now that I'm on the other side of it. Thank goodness for modern technology and dental insurance.        

New kitten LP has settled in and is growing up boisterously. I still need to write about him and share his adorable photos. He's hardly recognizable now, going from skinny pitiful kitten to filled-out teencat in just a few short months.

Fall has finally arrived, with temps in the 50s at night and high 70s during the day. That's a welcome relief from summer's heat and humidity. My nostalgia for New Hampshire has peaked and passed, but I am still watching the webcam for the first real snow.

Holiday menus are going to be different this year. Nothing else has been traditional, so why should that be? Meanwhile, the neighbors have their Christmas tree up already. They put it up right after Halloween. Normally I would be all, "Nooooo, it's too early!" but I can't say that I blame them for wanting to just get the year over with, already.

Strange times.

I Sure Hope I'm Right

I went back to the office this week. It's only two days per week, but it's still a big step for me.

I can do my job perfectly well from home, and the commute is way nicer. My reasons for going back are 1) my supervisor expressed a clear preference for having me return, and 2) almost everyone else is going in at least a few days a week. I don't want to jeopardize my job (although I don't think that's likely -- the firm has been wonderful about supporting us to do what we're comfortable with) and I don't want to ask for "special treatment." I'm a team player and all that.

It felt very strange, when I haven't crossed that threshold since mid-March. I slept terribly Monday night, partly from worry and partly from fear of oversleeping the 4 a.m. alarm that I haven't set since -- naturally! -- mid-March. Things went very smoothly and I met the handful of people we've hired since then. It was lovely to see my colleagues' familiar faces, too.

Of course, we aren't really seeing each other's faces because we're wearing masks, and staying behind closed doors if we have offices, and using one-way corridors, and not congregating to talk in the kitchen or the break areas. 

Being there feels like the right thing to do -- finding that balancing point between what I need and want and what my employer needs and wants. But sharing space and air with 30 other people is a big jump in my exposure and making the leap was pretty nerve-wracking. Everyone is very considerate, and I'm doing what's needed to be careful.  

I hope it's enough.

Remembering

 

Photo credit: Jose Jimenez/Primera Hora/Getty Images

None of us will ever forget that morning. 

I had no personal connection to anyone directly involved, but the events of September 11, 2001, affected me deeply. 

I have written about it before and have no more to say about that day. But it saddens me that we are still losing many American lives every day because we're unable or unwilling to do what needs to be done to bring the Covid pandemic under control.   

My takeaway remains the same: 

Blessings upon those who act with courage and generosity when the times demand it. May we all be among them.

And Here We Are, Again

Or should I say: here we are still?

Nothing much has changed except  . . . wait, how did it get to be the end of August already? 

Seriously, I don't know where this year has gone, except that it has dripped away day by day, just like the others, but with less busy-ness and fewer milestones. I suppose soon it will be the holidays and 2021. Apparently time flies even when it seems to crawl.

I haven't had any push from my supervisors to return to the office. I confess I miss being part of the team in a "physically present" sense. The phone and email are nice and Zoom is very nice, but it's limited. What I hear from my closest coworkers is that everyone stays in their office with their door closed all day, every day, so I'm not sure there's much difference between office and home in terms of collegiality. I have also seen the periodic memos asking everyone to please abide by the social distancing rules of no talking in offices, please use the conference rooms and spray Lysol afterwards to clear the air, please follow the arrows when you walk around, etc. None of that encourages me to rush back.   

I had my annual review and it was nerve-wracking. I am definitely a person whose self-evaluation focuses on what I did not get done, rather than what I accomplished. Even so, the review was favorable and my paycheck will show that with a modest increase. And yes, I know I am damned lucky to have a solid job when so many are without work or security or both.

My city had a real live big deal tornado this past week. It wasn't close to my house, but seeing that damage on the other side of town means it was close enough! Many big oaks either fell over or had their canopies destroyed, leaving nothing but the shattered trunk standing. Underneath were houses, cars, and motor homes, some damaged beyond repair. Fortunately no one was killed. A few days later a freak wind gust in a thunderstorm flipped over a bunch of small planes at our municipal airport. So it's been a crazy summer. It looks like the two current hurricanes will miss us, but I'm not feeling very relaxed about our summer weather.

Photo credit: Harry Smith

This baby was a big bright spot, though: Meet L.P. I'll share his story soon. He deserves a post all to himself! 

Life Goes On

It seems that this pandemic will be around for a significant period of time -- not that March to July isn't already significant! -- and another update seems appropriate.

Let's see, what's been happening?  

Like lots of folks across America, I watched Hamilton over the 4th of July weekend. It's truly amazing, a work of genius. No, it's not historically accurate on various levels, but damn, what a story and beautifully told in music that has been swirling around in my head since the first note sounded. I subscribed to Disney+ for a month in order to see it (best $7.00 I ever spent!) and have already watched it 4 times. There's always another layer to enjoy.

I also ordered the Chernow biography upon which the show is based and the book about the show, which includes its creative history and all the lyrics. Yeah, I'm a Hamilton geek now. No apologies.

A friend and I had promised each other that we would see it together, and Saturday night we did the next best thing, which is to stream it at our respective homes and phone and text each other numerous times while watching it. Such fun! 

Given all that, you may want to know: yes, I would still pay $200 a ticket to see it live, when that's possible again.

Which bring us to the pandemic. Sigh. Florida is doing a terrible job of managing this crisis, as are some other states. It's very discouraging. I've been doing my part to stay safe: Working from home. Not going anywhere to speak of. Wearing a mask when I do have to go out. Having groceries delivered. Trying to keep my spirits up, while worrying about my friends. I know many who are older or have health issues that predispose them to increased risk. And now my teacher friends are being told they have to do in-person teaching, starting in about 3 weeks. It just seems crazy, given the numbers and the risks.    

It's kind of hard to realize things have been like this since March, and apparently we wasted the shutdown and the hit to our economy from back then by opening too soon and too recklessly. That's sad. So much sacrifice, and yet here we are with new records for number of cases being set almost every day. 

I'm lucky and grateful to be working from home for a sympathetic employer. We are still extremely busy and that's a good thing. It hasn't been too hard for me emotionally to stay home. I have regular weekly phone calls with friends that help me stay connected. I've done some projects around the house. I've caught up on some paperwork. My daughter sent me an ice cream maker for my birthday and so far I've made nectarine ice cream and chocolate ice cream and pronounced both of them successful. 

I have to admit that I sometimes stay in my pjs until the end of the workday. Please don't tell anyone! 

The cardinals raised a whole passel of babies this year, and I've had the pleasure of watching them just out of the nest, barely able to fly, visiting the feeder and growing more confident and capable every day. There are about 10 babies, so it was a very good year!

The cats are happy and healthy inside, and as lazy as ever. The outdoor gentleman cat has become very friendly and is lobbying to come into the house. I doubt that will happen but he is a pleasure to have around outside. He occasionally sleep on top of my car and when I open the curtains in the morning, there he is, peeking in the window from the carport, right about eye level.

There is no summer league baseball for fans, unless you count being able to watch via live feed. It's not the same as being in the ballpark. Not that I'm complaining that they're taking no chances. (Well, maybe just a little bit.)

And so life goes on.

        

Truth in the Background

With a little extra time on my hands, I've done some extra web surfing. Way down the rabbit hole, I came upon a photo essay about dancers practicing at home. This picture in particular caught my eye and my mood:

Respect my existence or expect my resistance.

Photo credit: Franck Fife/AFP

True to Form

We had an actual tornado warning today when rotation appeared among the thunderstorms passing over my city. Fortunately the damage was limited to a few tree limbs down and minor power interruptions.

When the warning came out, my 3 officemates reacted pretty much as expected.

Hid under the kitchen sink.

 Hid under a table among a bunch of pictures.

Didn't want to miss anything.

Time-Spending

There's certainly more than the usual amount of time to be spent, these days, I'd say.

Still not enough time to get everything done, however. I suppose that's because I'm still putting in a full week at work, albeit from my desk at home. Like most people, I suspect, working from home means I save time by not commuting, not getting dressed up, etc. Which is more than compensated for by the time I spend making my own lunch and being distracted by unsettling news from all over. Some days my concentration is excellent, even better than it was in the office on my best day. Other days I feel more like I'm waiting for the biggest shoe ever to finally drop.

In Florida we don't think the virus has peaked yet. That's definitely unsettling.

Meanwhile, life rolls on. I've had some groceries delivered, and chatted with friends by phone and video call, and done a lot of cooking and some gardening. The New York Times hosts a tile matching game for free on their website, and I've discovered how soothing it is to play a few rounds of that every day.

Yesterday I made a vegetable run to the open-air, no-conversation, no-touch farmer's stand. I usually buy my vegetables at the Friday Night Farmers Market, which gives me a chance to browse and sometimes pick up a recipe recommendation from the farmer. This time we spoke through a cracked window on the passenger side of the car and the vegetables were packed and loaded into the back hatch. I leaned across the passenger seat to give him the money, both of  us careful not to touch hands in the transfer. I was wearing a mask. I tipped him. Our conversation was shorter but our eye contact -- being all we had left -- was stronger.

Mother Nature's bounty continues and I am thankful for that, as well as for the opportunity keep my friend's business alive. There was a small line of cars behind me, each of us grateful and craving a few words of conversation, no doubt.

It felt nice to get out of the house and go for a little drive. But I have to admit that removing the temptation to Go and Do has actually been good for me. I know I am incredibly lucky to be treating this as an opportunity for self-improvement instead of a desperate challenge to my survival. But there it is.

I hope I will continue to have the chance to be a better person, a better friend, a better neighbor, and a better citizen. I hope I remember to keep that extra eye contact, come what may.

Now if I could just manage to catch up on those book reviews. While there's still time. 

There's Still Time

. . . to laugh when you feel like it.

Ten Lessons from Staying Home

1. Nature is everywhere. I am lucky to have a semi-wild backyard that shows me something new every day. We don't have to buy a bunch of special equipment and travel to an exotic location to have "a nature experience." All we have to do is walk outside and look.

2. Relieved of busyness, families spend time together: walking the dog, riding bikes, throwing a baseball, jogging. I've seen people I've never seen before, who live right down the street.

3. The unthinkable can happen. I'm no prepper, but my environmental background has exposed me to some serious ideas and challenges. Like the burden we place on Mother Earth by the things we take for granted. Like the golden veneer of consumption and prosperity that masks a system with serious and fundamental flaws. Like the truth of food insecurity. It wasn't too long ago I asked someone, "What would you do for food if there was no Publix?" (Publix is a major grocery store where I live.) My companion looked at me like I had two heads, clearly considering the question too wacky to deserve an answer. I was really asking, but I was over the line even voicing such a thought. Now that grocery stores are stressed by circumstances and shelves are empty of key items, that question isn't as wacky anymore, huh?

4. Next day delivery was awesome. I'm not sure when it will happen again. Things I've ordered are 2 or 3 weeks out right now.

5. We could have been doing some pretty great things all along. In the past week, I have taken a yoga class, "walked" along the High Line in New York City, heard some wonderful concerts, had long video calls with several dear friends, and joined a reading group with a famous author -- all from the comfort of my living room. I've also cooked and eaten all my meals at home, strolled the yard every evening, and gotten some long-standing chores accomplished. In some ways, I've been busier than ever. I've been having more fun, too. 

6. Leadership takes courage. Sometime it's lacking. And sometimes it appears in unlikely places, from unlikely people.

7. Loquats are delicious. I tried them once, long ago, and they were unripe and inedible. I didn't know that, but I never tried again. However, given the abundance on my backyard tree and some extra time on my hands, I gave it another go -- resulting in a fruit-in-hand epiphany and a successful cobbler. They are more seed than fruit, but well worth the trouble. I will not forget this.

8. Being science-deficient can be fatal, not only to yourself but to others. I have a few friends who still believe this is all a big hoax or an overreaction. They have continued with their normal lives, complaining that "Everything's closed!" They are not convinced by the medical community's concern that if we are unable to "flatten the curve" and spread out the impact of this virus, the care system will be overwhelmed. That means rationed care. That means hard decisions. That means denying life-saving help to the patients who are deemed less worthy of saving. This is a hard truth. Facing it requires a basic understanding of math, and critical thinking, and a willingness to rely on qualified experts when the water gets too deep. I have done enough research to be convinced that "Better sorry than safe" is not a good choice here. Those who lack the ability to form their own opinions, based on their own research, are risking lots of lives, not just their own.   

9. The cats do nothing all day. And they do it very well.

10. I like staying home. I just wish it wasn't for this reason.

Stay safe and be well, everyone! Love and light to you all.

Report on a Pandemic

Or, as I'm determined to think of it, a staycation.

Looking at the bright side is one of the things I do best. I'm not a denier. I think I'm more of a realist. Sometimes I'm a bit of a doomsayer. Weird mix, I know. But it works for me.

Going forward, I expect that Florida probably will have lots of cases of Covid-19. In addition to our regular residents, we are a combination of retirees, tourists, snowbirds, and spring breakers. There are plenty of "deniers" in those categories, not concerned for various reasons. Our governor has not moved aggressively to flatten the curve. I think it's going to be bad. My goal is to stay well enough not to have to go to the ER for any reason -- coronavirus, car accident, heart attack, you name it. Right now, it's not where I want to be. Not for myself. Not to take up resources needed by others.   

I've been working from home since last Tuesday. It's not as much of a disruption for me as it is for some people. Most of my workday consists of sitting alone in my office, navigating paperless files, looking up information on the internet, and typing into the computer. Thanks to the ultra-modern approach of the firm's managers, all that can easily be done from home -- minus occasional social interaction with my coworkers, which is something I will miss. I've been emailing them more often, intending to stay connected. It's not unlikely that we will have one of those "virtual happy hours" pretty soon, just to catch up.

My workday is also minus the 3-hour daily commute, which is a mixed blessing. The standard 3 hours includes about 2 hours of solid reading time on the train; missing out on that is the downside. The upside is less exposure. Even when I drive the car, it takes 2 hours and oh, the traffic. Overall, I'd say it's a plus.

One of my tasks this weekend was working up a daily schedule, to make sure I still get everything done. Unstructured time tends to disappear on me, and right now the schedule is pretty much mine for the making. Time for exercise and reading has been scheduled. I hope to rise to this opportunity for a reset.   

My neighbors have had mixed reactions to this threat. My elderly neighbors think it's all a big overreaction. One of them is planning to move and continues to go out every day on various errands associated with packing up her household. I have been cordial but kept my physical distance. My other neighbors are young and have a 2-year-old. They are both bartenders -- and both out of work now, because the bars have been closed. I will be doing what I can to help them. And yet, in our back fence conversation yesterday, guess what they wanted to talk about: How was I doing? Did I need anything? They had plenty of food, if I needed any. Just let them know, okay?       

I also have friends in the medical industry. Two of them are ER nurses, in two separate counties. It is crazy there. Lots of sick people, and not much Covid-19 testing available (there are very specific requirements for who gets tested, and from what I've seen, folks who may have gotten it from community spread won't be tested, so we will never know). There have been few positives among those who are tested -- but supplies are running short. My friends are worried about masks and gloves for themselves and medical supplies, available beds, and equipment for patients.

I haven't been to the grocery store in a week. I wouldn't say that I stocked up last week, but I bought a few extra non-perishables. There were no eggs. There were no plant-based milks, although I managed to get regular milk (which I then gave to a friend who needed it). There was no butter. Canned goods were really picked over and I didn't need any, anyway. I got cornmeal, but flour was pretty much gone. There was plenty of ice cream. I got lentils and some interesting turmeric spaghetti. There was no bagged salad. There were no potatoes or onions. I was able to get apples, oranges, and green, yellow and red peppers. I also splurged on almond-maple nut butter and hooray for that! It is delicious.

Last weekend there was no toilet paper. I just needed it on the regular schedule and was able to get it from Amazon because I didn't want to chase all over town for it. Ditto for a thermometer (I can't believe I didn't have one!). It took Amazon a week to deliver. That made me realize how spoiled I have been by the customary delivery times.

I might have to go to the grocery again eventually -- but it doesn't seem worth risking my life for it or burdening the system anymore than it already is. Friday evening I drove the car around the block to make sure it would still start. Yesterday I went by my local bookstore to pick up a couple of books I'd ordered. Like all small local businesses, they are hurting, so I thought I would support them. They promised curbside service, so I called when I arrived in their parking lot and they brought the books out to me. Then I went to the gas station and filled up the tank. Then I went home and washed the heck out of my hands. The roads were very quiet, compared with the usual Saturday. The grocery store parking lot was full.

As different as things are, I feel I have been prepared by literature for these kinds of changes. I'll save that for another post. 

Meanwhile, spring is happening. I have the windows open (it's warm, but not hot yet). The mockingbirds and cardinals sing enthusiastically, and the cats have plenty to smell and watch. My wild-ish yard is blooming with various volunteer flowers. Life goes on. 

Thankful

Photo: Vince Lamb

He who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fire.

~ W.J. Cameron

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Everyone's Asking

I spent some time this weekend pondering the question that's on everyone's mind this week.

Do I have the right size pans for Thanksgiving?

No Fooling

Y'all know I don't do April Fool's Day, right?

It was a gently celebrated "holiday" when I was growing up, but I've never been a fan of the practical joke and so now I do not participate.

Just one of the perks of being an adult.

I Think I'm Going to Like It There

Photo: CBSsports.com

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that participation in March Madness is officially and enthusiastically supported at my new workplace.

Who knew? Suddenly I care way more about the FSU v. Vermont basketball game than I ever have before.

Today's List

A microcosm of my life these days . . .

1. Buy and load minutes for my best friend's phone, which she uses when she visits Florida from her home in the U.K. She's trying to get her mom into assisted living, so I'm happy to do anything I can to help her.

2. March in our hometown parade honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. We still have a long way to go.

3. About a million things for work, including finishing my work plan for this year -- so I know what I'm doing. The hardest part for me is to stop generating ideas. I want to do everything!

4. Prep for teaching two classes tomorrow. Both classes are small this semester, which adds a little extra pressure to keep things interesting.

5. Stay warm. (I just added that one.) It's 38 degrees this morning -- very cold for us. Especially when it was 80 degrees the day before. Talk about winter weather whiplash!

6. Savor being a speck in the universe. The eclipse last night has me thinking about my To Do list on a celestial scale, which certainly keeps things in perspective.

My friend Mac made a wonderful picture!
MacStonePhoto.com

Adventing

I started thinking about the holidays earlier than usual this year.

Maybe it's because for work I created and managed a committee that made a float for the Christmas Parade downtown. It was a big success last Saturday night. Literally 10,000 people crowded the sidewalks to enjoy the show. There were 115 entries this year, most of them floats! It's a huge big deal around here.

Now all I have to do is survive the DeLand St. Johns River Boat Parade and create, give, and grade a final exam, and whoo hoo! I'll be all about the holidays then!

Back from Reality

Lucky me! I spent Thanksgiving on a houseboat on the St. Johns River!

Sixty-three feet of floating home-away-from-home gave the 8 of us plenty of space (although the sleeping quarters were a tad cozy), including a front deck, a back deck, an upper deck, a bath and half, and a kitchen that was big enough for a lot of cooks and the usual turkey and sides, plus 3 kinds of pie.

We anchored out on the river two nights and spent the other night docked at a state park. Kayaking, hiking, and music jamming kept everyone busy. Only one person did any Black Friday shopping! I got in a lot of reading time, which was like heaven for me.

There was plenty of time for reflection, too.

We saw lots of birds, a few snakes while hiking, and on the last morning we had a very special visitor: a manatee! We think he/she was enjoying the warm water from our generator, because we've had some cool nights and the river water is also cooling. What a treat to see this placid, friendly marine mammal up close!