I was supposed to receive a response to my offer last Saturday, which then became last Wednesday, and now the seller won't even talk to his own realtor, much less send along a message to me.
As time goes on, I am convinced the seller is in denial, hoping to somehow save the house at the last minute. Everyone I talk to says two things: it's highly unlikely that the seller will be able to do it, because he is already in short sale territory, and it could take a very long time to get the final "no" that means he has to abandon hope.
I understand the emotional component there. And I realize it takes time both to do the paper work and to accept what the paperwork tells you.
What I don't understand is why the seller won't just tell us all that. It's the uncertainty that's difficult for me. Every day I wake up thinking, "Maybe today!" and then "Maybe today?" and then, as the day goes on, I start thinking, "Maybe tomorrow!"
Even so, I want to wait. Much as I feel ready to put down some roots at last, I want to wait. The one I have found is The One.
I don't just want a house, I want that house . . . although part of me wonders if this delay could be the universe's way of telling me it isn't the house for me.
To test my resolve, I looked at another house yesterday. It was somewhat similar, and maybe better in some ways. But I discovered very quickly I wasn't willing to forgive it any of its shortcomings. I couldn't see past the small rooms, the garish paint scheme, the suspicious water stain and sagging plaster in the breakfast area, the tiny backyard . . .
Every step of the way I was comparing it to the house I love, whose flaws are totally forgivable, even endearing. Love makes all the difference, doesn't it?
I'm glad I looked, because now I realize that if I don't wait, if I don't let the process evolve at its own pace, if I buy another house simply because I am ready to buy, I'll forever be wondering about what could have been.
The "no" -- if there is a "no" at the end of the waiting -- has to come from outside. If it comes from me and my impatience, I'll regret it forever.