Saturday, April 7, 2012

Still Waiting, and a Test

No progress on the house, and my "can do" spirit is struggling a bit with the limbo state.

I was supposed to receive a response to my offer last Saturday, which then became last Wednesday, and now the seller won't even talk to his own realtor, much less send along a message to me.

As time goes on, I am convinced the seller is in denial, hoping to somehow save the house at the last minute. Everyone I talk to says two things: it's highly unlikely that the seller will be able to do it, because he is already in short sale territory, and it could take a very long time to get the final "no" that means he has to abandon hope.

I understand the emotional component there. And I realize it takes time both to do the paper work and to accept what the paperwork tells you.

What I don't understand is why the seller won't just tell us all that. It's the uncertainty that's difficult for me. Every day I wake up thinking, "Maybe today!" and then "Maybe today?" and then, as the day goes on, I start thinking, "Maybe tomorrow!"

Even so, I want to wait. Much as I feel ready to put down some roots at last, I want to wait. The one I have found is The One.

I don't just want a house, I want that house . . . although part of me wonders if this delay could be the universe's way of telling me it isn't the house for me.

To test my resolve, I looked at another house yesterday. It was somewhat similar, and maybe better in some ways. But I discovered very quickly I wasn't willing to forgive it any of its shortcomings. I couldn't see past the small rooms, the garish paint scheme, the suspicious water stain and sagging plaster in the breakfast area, the tiny backyard . . .

Every step of the way I was comparing it to the house I love, whose flaws are totally forgivable, even endearing. Love makes all the difference, doesn't it?

I'm glad I looked, because now I realize that if I don't wait, if I don't let the process evolve at its own pace, if I buy another house simply because I am ready to buy, I'll forever be wondering about what could have been.

The "no" -- if there is a "no" at the end of the waiting -- has to come from outside. If it comes from me and my impatience, I'll regret it forever.


  1. House buying is so difficult! I remember when I was looking for my current condo, I fell in love with a couple of places that didn't work out. One of them, in fact, seemed like a perfect match--the seller's real estate agent even wanted me to get it because I was able to make such a good offer overall--but the loan for the person buying my previous home fell through and I couldn't commit quickly enough. What's funny is that I ended up in a condo that I looked at early on and immediately said no--never!--to. But by the time I was ready to buy, the price had come down so much and it had been on the market so long that I was able to get an amazing deal with enough money left over to remake both the kitchen and bathroom completely to my specifications. It's now better than any of the places I was so in love with. It is now mine in a way none of the others were.

    All this is to say that even if "your" house doesn't work out--and I hope it does!--you might find a way to make the house you get into a home you'll love even more.

  2. Seems weird what the seller is doing. What does your agent say?

  3. Teresa, thanks so much for sharing your story and encouragement. Your condo sounds like a great place, when it was given time to develop into something you wanted. I am just hoping to get the right outcome . . . whatever that is!

    Oreneta, it is kind of weird, except they don't really want to sell. They are probably living there rent-free because they are financially distressed, so they don't have much incentive to move and start paying rent. My agent thinks they will come through and sign eventually, but meanwhile it is a waiting game.

  4. I know what it is to fall in love with a house. Last year we went house-hunting and there was one that I felt 'yes, this is it' the moment I entered it.


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