Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Those are my stockinged feet you're looking at. And why, you ask, am I putting them on display?
Short answer: we're freezing our toes off down here in South Florida.
I don't wear socks around the house. EVER. But our thermometers are taking a record plunge due to this Arctic blast that's hit the eastern half of the country, and everyone in these parts is in a panic. We don't deal with cold very well.
The TV weatherman, in doing his bit, sounded like he does in the summer when we're looking an approaching Category 5 hurricane square in the eye. "Freeze Warning for tonight!" and "temps in the 20s!." He was practically yelling.
And wait til you hear this one. There was a report on the morning radio that iguanas, which are not native to South Florida but have infested our region, drop out of the trees when the temp drops below 40. Suggestion: chop off their heads because "it's the most humane way to get rid of them."
It wouldn't be so bad, except I can't get the dang heater to work. I might turn it on one night a year, if that. But the darn thing refuses to spit out any warmth. So I'm running loads of laundry just to keep the dryer humming, the idea being it might emit some heat. I've got all the blankets out. Fireplace? We don't have no stinking fireplaces where I live!
I suppose it if became unbearable, I could relocate to the kitchen and crank up the open oven for warmth. What would you suggest? 400? 450? Maybe toss in a frozen pizza or cook me a marshmallow.
Or....anyone have a favorite iguana recipe to share?