Lately I've been thinking about youth and age and all things temporary. And if I have anything to say about that, it's this.
I spent more time than I'd like to admit in my 20's and 30's feeling I wasn't quite something enough for my own taste.
I frequently changed my hairstyle, searching for that perfect look. Like a curly perm was ever going to be a good thing.
I was often rather daunted by wearing a swimsuit in public, because my proportions weren't like the models in the magazines. Ditto for the latest fashions. This helped me avoid parachute pants and various other fashion crimes (a good thing, in retrospect). But the point is, I didn't feel skinny enough or cute enough to carry them off, even when I wanted to wear them.
In my 40's I was just too darn busy with work and school to care very much about anything except functional fashion, and I didn't waste a lot of time wondering if I was something enough to carry it off. I stuck with the classics and moved on. A bit boring, but effective.
Now, when I look back at my former self, I can't help but notice how young and fresh and slender I was. You think anyone ever thought, "Too bad she doesn't do something with her hair" or "Boy, losing 10 pounds would sure improve her figure"? Doubtful. Those so-called sins are easily forgiven in the young. But all those years, I was my own worst critic.
Now I have a generous amount of gray hair, a number of wrinkles, a few extra pounds, and a whole new attitude. I'm not young anymore. But I'm not going to spend any more time worrying about not being something enough in categories that don't really matter. It's time I cut myself a break.
Besides, just think how young and fresh and slender the current me will seem, when I'm 60 and 70 and 80.